Friday, January 27, 2012

Cash Flow

"I wish I could just travel around all the time."
It was a statement which was almost always tinged with resentment. Yeah, being a traveling model was pretty nifty. It was kind of like a two year long vacation, in a lot of ways. Tour the country, hang out with cool artists, go hiking with my dog. Sweet!

"You live out of your car? With your dog?"
And a look of moderate distaste, as though homeless-itis might be contagious. Suddenly things have lost their sexy, glamorous appeal.

Cashflow. Say it with me, now. Cash. Flow. Tim Ferriss might be a jerk in many ways, but one of the things that he absolutely nails is the concept of cash flow. Looking at where money is coming in, looking at where money is going out. And then considering how you can turn traditional paradigms upside down. Rework your cash flow so that you can live the life you want.

I made relatively little money as a full-time model. Something like $13,000 in 2010, the only full calendar year that I modeled as my exclusive source of income. Travel expenses were a substantial part of what I made, and travel was an absolute necessity to keep a steady(ish) flow of income. Plus, it was fun. But after a break-up that resulted in an abrupt cross-country relocation and loss of my doggysitter, I had to sit down and really go over my cash flow. I liked the gig. I didn't want to walk away from it. How was I going to make it work?

And then I realized, "Hey, I know what I don't need to spend money on. Rent!! Why pay for a place that I wouldn't be at terribly often anyhow?" I could pack up myself and the beagle, and hit the road indefinitely.

And so I did. And I can assure you that I'm not the only one to have finagled cash flow in a way that really worked for me, even when there was relatively little money coming in. I've known a freelance writer who spent half of the year living in a tiny beach town in Mexico. Couples that bust ass waiting tables and living in a cramped studio apartment for eight months at a time, then take a year to meander their way around the world. When they run low on money, they repeat the process.

Decide what you want, think creatively, consider what you can cut out of the current budget, and you can make it happen.

Monday, December 26, 2011

Kari's Guide to Not Passing Out

Awhile back, somebody happened upon my blog with the search string "holding a pose and started getting lightheaded." I could imagine the circumstances that led to somebody sitting down to search online to seek an explanation, or some understanding behind what must have happened that day. Why would a normally healthy person be suddenly struck by lightheadedness while they were simply standing around?

The fact is that sooner or later most life models get hit by lightheadedness while working. It just comes the the job. It doesn't mean you're unhealthy, it doesn't mean you're doing it wrong, it doesn't mean that you're a failure as a model. It just means that you do a job that involves stressing and challenging your body in a way that nature didn't quite plan for. It's okay. It happens to the best of 'em.

Happily, there are a handful of things that can be done to head off getting lightheaded on the job.

Temperature
Of the handful of times that I've had to break a pose early, I've often either been in a very hot room or right by a heater. I get cold easily, so it is all too tempting for me to snuggle up next to a blasting hot fireplace or heater. After 10-20 minutes though, it can start getting pretty intense, even for me. Be aware of the temperature and how your body responds to it, and adjust things as necessary.

Self-Care
Not eating well the day or two before a session. Getting worn down from too much time on the road. I've found that being in states like these make me more vulnerable to getting lightheaded. If I know that, for whatever reason, I'm apt to start getting droopy, I make a point of having some sort of sugary hard candy with me. And not that zero-calorie sugar-free shit- something that will give me a prompt glucose kick if I need it.

Poses
Tweaking body parts into extreme angles is all fine and dandy for photoshoots and gestures, but can get dicier if you're going to be holding the pose for more than a minute or two. I've found that excessively contorting and stretching my torso, or selecting poses that really ratchet my arms behind me, can start doing weird things to me. It's fine for gestures, but once poses are lasting five plus minutes, those poses can become more problematic. Standing poses can also be challenging over longer periods of time if it's a hot room or you haven't eaten in awhile. Occasionally pump the muscles in your legs to keep blood flowing. It's a good habit to be in, even if you're feeling great.

Even with this awareness, lightheadness can still sneak up. If it does, let the artist(s) know what's going on, and that you need to take a break. Even if it means breaking the pose early. Get some water, and something with sugar in it- candy, fruit, non-diet soda, whatever. Take a minute to sit, and then move around or stretch. Once you've bounced back, go for easier poses for the rest of the night.

And remember- it's okay.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Understanding Motivations

I've maintained for quite awhile that art modeling honed more skills than knowing how to pose. But I've also struggled to articulate exactly what these other skills were. "I, uh, I've gotten better at organizing stuff, and managing logistics! And networking! And, um, some other stuff!"

It was not a very convincing argument.

Since backing away from full-time modeling, and spending more time outside of that realm, I've gleaned some insights into exactly what those other skills were. They certainly aren't academic, and they aren't even the types of skills that are usually identified as useful. But they sure are handy.

One of those skills is understanding motivations. As a freelance model, you communicate with a whole slew of people. Even working within a very limited genre, I encountered all kinds of folks. As it is a field which has some risks associated, understanding the motivations of people was incredibly valuable. Why is this person contacting me? Why are they offering what they are? Is this compatible with my goals? What risks am I exposing myself to here? These questions are almost never explicitly discussed, but they are questions which you can answer as you being to develop the ability to understand others' motivations.

There were two events which led me to realizing that this is a skill that is honed by successful freelance models.

The first was entirely outside of the realm of modeling. I recently acquired a freelance writing gig. There were a few red flags associated with this particular gig, but not enough to fully throw on the breaks- just enough to proceed with caution. I took to referring to it as my "might-be-a-scam-job" right up until the first check cleared- which, by the way, it did. But at each step of the way, I evaluated what a legitimate company would be getting out of the deal, what a scammer would be getting out of the deal, and my own vulnerability by proceeding.

While chatting with another writer friend, she commented that she's always afraid that writing gigs on Craig's List are scams, and therefore doesn't pursue any of them. That was when I started realizing that working as a freelance model had helped me identify and understand motivations. I don't just know what obvious red flags to look for, but how to examine the subtleties of each situation. This helps me write off true scams- even sneaky ones- and take advantage of legitimate opportunities.

The other event which helped me realize that understanding motivations is a useful skill was a forum discussion on Model Mayhem. A model had been offered a truly obscene amount of money for a shoot- the rate was well above standard market rates. Red flag. She had done some background checking, and everything was coming up clear. She started a discussion about the situation to see others thoughts.

Many of the responses were along the lines of, "Oh my God, SCAM, it's obviously a scam and the photographer expects sex." But a few highly experienced models chimed in with alternate experiences. Sometimes people really do have that much money to burn, and decide to use it this way. Sometimes photographers do offer rates that are twice, or more, what a model generally quotes. It's something which requires some deeper digging to make a final call, but if that all checks out- sweet! Payday!

Understanding motivations comes into play in other aspects of freelance modeling, as well. What types of imagery does this photographer want to create? Will it be more appropriate for me to be quiet and business-minded, or dive into upbeat banter? Is this shoot going to be a therapeutic experience for the photographer? Or is he just looking to get his rocks off? Being able to identify motivations and intentions based off of unspoken cues is hugely important.

If, as a model, you don't hone this ability, you will sink. You'll get in over your head with scams and photographers that don't send up obvious red flags, and you'll miss legitimate opportunities that are suspicious on the surface.

It's a skillset that I developed as a model, but that continues to serve me. Anytime I'm working with other people, for any reason, I am considering their motives. Once I know these, I can make sure that everybody's interests are met- win-win all around. It's subtle, it's hard to pin down, but make no mistake- it's important.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

365 Project

I recently started a 365 project. It pretty much entails shooting a self-portrait every day for a year. I'm on day ten. My hope is that the project will give me some sort of structure to grow and push myself as a photographer. It's an excuse to fiddle around with different lighting, different framing, different concepts. The only restriction that I've put on myself with regards to content is that it must be a self-portrait.

Although I'm only ten days into it, I'm fascinated by the results. I have done some experimentation with different set-ups than I usually use. Sometimes it's worked well. Other times the results have been less-than-stellar. This is about what I expected, though I'm pleased to have had definitive positive results so quickly into the project.

What has really taken me by surprise is the content that I've gravitated towards thus far. A good third of the photos have been goofy high-key portraits. Usually I'm into shooting things like erotic imagery, and expressive gesture and figure studies. I gravitate towards anonymous nudes. I often like dramatic, moody lighting. So I have no bloody clue why all of a sudden I'm getting such a kick out of shooting myself making stupid faces, or wearing dorky underwear and socks.

I made a brief attempt at fighting it, but for the time, I think I'm going to go ahead and ride this trend. I have another 355 days left, which will be plenty of time for me to gravitate back to torsos, rope, and visual drama. For now, it's an exercise in joy.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Coming Home

I love the giddiness of setting out on a new bout of travel. The sense of adventure, the buzz and energy of everything that might be. I love exploring new places, meeting new people, and reconnecting with those I've already met. But you know what one of my favorite parts of a trip is?

Coming home.

I spent the past week and a half in Minneapolis and Indianapolis. The trip was entirely a personal one- no shoots, no sittings, nothing. But it was a great chance to be social with new and old friends in Minneapolis, and get some solid time in with family in Indianapolis.

And as I departed for home? Buzz. Excitement. That same hum that I get when I depart for trips, I get going home. I can't wait to get back to Colorado and sink my teeth into everything that I want, and need, to do. Building a business. 365 project. Non-profits. Income stabilization. Snuggling with Jitterbug. Exciting things, important-to-me things. Things that make it good to be home.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Ugly


I feel like I'm on a mission to make myself as mainstream ugly as I possibly can. I grew out my body hair. At the time, I considered it a pretty loud statement. I started modeling and fell into the "natural woman" archetype, which I certainly didn't see coming. These days, I don't think about it much at all, and don't know what to say about it. Then I shaved my head, with but a very small amount of encouragement from friends. That came closer to doing the trick, but I still keep getting surprised here and there.

It's not that I want to be ugly, per se. It's just that I don't feel entirely comfortable with sexuality being written on to me, or the bulk of my modeling work. And I'm silly enough to believe that with enough modifications to my appearance, I can change others' perceptions of me. I'm silly enough to believe that I can stop others from writing their own storylines onto me.

But then an acquaintance went and threw me for a loop. I'd posted the above (strictly figurative) photo of me on The Kinky Facebook (TM) with the caption that it wasn't very kinky at all, but I didn't care. He commented, "Willingness to be beautiful - especially in an often not so beautiful world - is kink, in my most humble of opinions."

And damn if he didn't throw me for a loop with that one. That might very well be the first time that somebody has read something even vaguely erotic into a figurative photo without putting my hackles up. But I think that he hit on something there.

I do appreciate subversion. Maybe a little too much. And the suggestion that my appearance- and my assuredness in my appearance- is kink, is beautiful, is something beyond My Own Issues- that's pretty awesome for me. And maybe that's what I'm really going for. Not being ugly, but undercutting the expectations put upon me by everybody else. I am my own being, and I will fight to maintain my autonomy. The ways in which that fight manifests will change and evolve over time. But unless something goes very, very wrong, it is a fight that I will continue picking.

The photo, by the way, was shot by Shannon Piserchio. She is amazing.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Aesthetic Intimacy

I recently came across a concept which was, hands down, one of the most useful tools I've found for describing what we get out of different types of relationships. It was a list of different types of intimacy. Some were obvious ones- emotional and sexual intimacy, for example. Others were types of intimacy which I had never considered before. One of those was aesthetic intimacy.

Have you ever seen a sunset over mountains so beautiful that it took your breath away? Combined ingredients in just the perfect way to compose an exquisite symphony of flavors? Marveled at how the morning light brings out the most perfect glow on human skin? Then you, my friend, have experienced aesthetic intimacy. It can be intimacy with yourself, a lover, friends, or even a stranger. But it is still an intimate experience.

Suddenly having that concept gave me a really interesting lens to view my work over the past few years as an art model. I absolutely love working with people who I click with on an aesthetic level. People who appreciate the gestures of hands, soft but dramatic light, finding that perfect composition. When I step into the studio with somebody who works on the same aesthetic wavelength as me, magic happens. Yeah, baby, we've got some serious aesthetic intimacy going on.

Of course, aesthetic intimacy doesn't translate to sexual intimacy. Or affectionate intimacy. Or even social intimacy. But it's still a type of intimacy that I treasure, and one which I will continue to seek out with others.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Last Time Around

Seattle, Washington is where I started modeling. It is fitting that Seattle, Washington is where I will wrap up my last trip as a full-time model. As of Thursday evening, my days as a vagabonding nudie model will be done.

There's no single reason that I've decided to throw in the towel. Part of it was burn-out, and a building resentment toward my job. Part of it was extremely poor booking through late winter and early spring. And part of it was that I just hate sunblock.

So what does this mean for this blog? Well for one thing, it means that things are going to get a whole lot more honest. I've chosen not to write about things like rates, or things which I find irritating. Dropping back from full-time modeling allows me to write about those without fear of losing jobs due to surliness, or shooting myself in the foot financially. I'm sure that local work for drawing groups, painters, and the occasional photographer will also provide me with periodic inspiration and blog fodder.

Burn out aside, I could not have hoped for a better two years as a traveling model. I have worked with some incredible people. The generosity and goodness of strangers has astounded me time and time again. I was successful in but a few of the obvious ways, but in all of the ways which matter to me.

And now? Now it's time for a new adventure.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

No, really, EVERYBODY will see you naked- the family edition

My father has coped with multiple nightmare visions with regards to his daughter, the nude model. Most of them, predictably, involve me in small pieces in the woods. Others are a bit less gruesome. He shared one of them with me about two years ago, when I began modeling full-time and in multiple cities, including Indianapolis. My father has lived his whole life there, and not surprisingly, has a well-established base of friends and family in the area. Some of them like art. He expressed concern over the potential that somebody that he, or we, knew, was going to wander into a gallery and unwittingly come face to face with me. Naked, and framed.

I forget how I reassured him in this particular regard. "I promise it will be tasteful? I look really different without clothing or glasses, so most people won't recognize me? There's hardly anybody in Indiana who wants to hire me, anyways?" In any case, it was a topic that passed largely undiscussed after that.

Today I was talking to my mother, and she asked if I'd received an e-mail from my father about the Stutz. I immediately started laughing and asked, "Oh geeze, he found Travis' studio, didn't he?" Sure enough, my father wandered into a studio and unwittingly came face to face with me. Naked, and framed.

My father has seen relatively little of my modeling work. He has seen some of it along the way, but not much. Most of our conversations about my job revolve around travel and taxes.

But, if his e-mail to my mother serves as any indicator, he wholeheartedly approved of these pieces. And I can't say that I'm surprised. Travis is an exceptionally talented painter, and I'm proud of every one of his paintings that I've been a part of. Given a choice of whose work I'd most like my father to stumble upon, Travis would be at the top of the list. So I lucked out in that regard.

Putting yourself out there, as a model, truly does mean putting yourself out there for the world to see. Years after I've stopped modeling, representations of me will still be floating around. Photographs, paintings, sketches, sculptures-- they will last well after I'm no longer active as a model. And they'll be out there for all the world to see. Even Dad.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Three in one!

My car is my vehicle. It is sometimes my office. It is oftentimes a hotel room.

Traveling by car is a great way to hit smaller markets, save money on the road, and- of course- take in the cross-country landscape. With very few exceptions (Manhattan!), driving is my preferred means of travel. But it took me awhile to get my legs under me, so to speak. I'd like to share some of the insights that I've gleaned the hard way, for others who are looking at extended travel by car.

Organization
Do not underestimate the value of organization. I started out packing my car in a way that everything fit neatly, with some consideration for accessibility. I did not take time to consider what needed to be accessible from where. Will I want to be able to access the cooler from the driver's seat? Which clothing bin should be on top when they're stacked? Will it REALLY be practical to move that bag from the back to the driver's seat every single night and morning that I sleep in my car? Some organization comes from trial-and-error, but forethought can help quite a bit.

Nest-building
Sleeping in my car has saved me a ton of money. Sleeping in my car has also made my back hurt. Happily, there are ways to avoid the latter. My car is a hatchback, so I sleep down one side of the "trunk" and on the back of the folded-down back seat. I try to even out the bump where the seat folds over as much as possible with padding, then put a thermarest over the entire thing. Sometimes it becomes tempting to tell myself, "Oh, it won't be that bad" as I skimp on padding. I inevitably regret the decision to skimp on padding. Having a very toasty sleeping bag has also been invaluable. If you error to one side or the other, error on the side of more warm and squishy things, rather than fewer.

Rest stops and truck stops
It turns out that if you just park on the side of a meandering scenic road with "No Overnight Parking" signs, you really will get a 2 AM wake-up from a cop. It sucks. Rest stops are great for overnight stays, as are truck stops. Try to park such that lights won't be shining directly into your eyes when you're curled up in your car nest. I wouldn't recommend staying at the same place for more than one night in a row- I just use rest stops and truck stops when I'm doing multi-day drives.

My preferred truck stops are TA, Pilot, and Flying J. Rest stops in California are frequently closed- if you're starting to get sleepy and see one that's open, pull off. Don't believe the sign that says there's another in 40 or however many miles, as it may be closed. That said, I've found that California rest stops tend to have great views. I really love staying at the rest stop on I-80 just on the Utah side of the Utah/Nevada border- waking up at the edge of the salt flats is great.

Food
Do not doubt the power of the almighty cooler. Do not doubt the importance of actually keeping ice in the cooler. It's really, really nice to be able to keep refrigeration-required food on the road, but you can go through ice pretty quickly. I tried to eat food that was less forgiving of temperature swings first.

Cups of dehydrated soup which only require hot water are fantastic if you want to feel like you're eating something resembling a real meal without sitting down at a restaurant. I use the hot water dispensers at gas stations (by the coffee maker) where I've filled up. I try not to take advantage of gas station services without buying at least SOMETHING- gas, peanuts, whatever.

Extended travel by car can be a great adventure. Even though I'm not longer a full-time nomad, I do enjoy roadtrips, and the chance to use my car not just as a vehicle, but as the three-in-one wonder that it really is.