Thursday, July 23, 2009

Selling myself

Nude modeling hasn't always been my job. In my other life, I studied ecology and have worked extensively with animals. At this point, I have a reasonably shiny resume detailing these adventures. I'm incredibly proud of the things I've done and I've grown tremendously as a result. By and large, I'm more than happy to share tales of bear-tracking, feeding raccoons, and wrasslin' cats and dogs.

And yet, I hate my resume. I hate summarizing my life experiences into succinct blurbs communicating, "I am experienced, capable, and competent!" I hate buzz-words and I hate skillsets. Dusting off the ol' resume and tweaking it inevitably make me feel cheapened as a person.

On the other hand, selecting images of myself and rattling off my measurements have never bothered me. Somehow, when it is my body which I'm selling, rather than my experiences, everything is hunky dory. Aren't things supposed to be the other way around?

I wonder if this will ever change. In the few years since I began modeling, I know that it has shaped who I am and how I perceive the world. With enough time, will I begin feeling ill at ease when updating my website the same way I do when updating my resume? I surely hope not.

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